The Love

When it comes to love i always think about guys, about boyfriends specifically :P haa i dont have one :/ well i used to have boyfriends before this and of course one at a time ya! pls pretty girls all over the world, i am begging u, dont betray dont 'play-wood-three' ur partner. Be faithful.  It is not nice, not even beautiful when pretty girls do so. I am sorry, yes i know it is ur life, okay okay, up to u :p 

I need a boyfriend, I need a boyfriend, I need a boyfriend..

That was me talking to myself before. And yes I got one, then he left. Then i got another one, then he dumped me, and it continuosly happens in my life. It is easy to get a boyfriend, really easy but to keep them stay? It's like no one would ever wants to stay with me forever. I dont know why? Everytime it happened i will sit and try to think about it. People say "u're gonna get someone better" and yes it's true. i got someone better everytime :) but still they left me :( if it is once, maybe it wasnt my fault.. but this things happened to me everytime! means i am not good enough, never be. 

I've been thinking about this: i have to accept the fact that i am not good enough for anyone, for him especially. So i will slowly pull myself out from his life and i will stay single until Allah knows when. Until He sends me the right man at the right time. I know now, I dont have to find a man, i just have to have faith. I believe He has made someone perfectly for me and this man will come to my life  when we both are ready by proposing the correct way. Allah tak kejam pada hambaNya. Allah cuma rindu pada suaraku merintih padaNya. 

Oh, i cant lie to myself :'( i cant forget him. I cant remember to forget him! Ya Allah, tlg luputkan dia dr ingatanku, lenyapkan rasa cinta yg ada ini bt dirinya, tutupkan hati dan fikiranku dr mengenang dia. Ya Allah, peliharalah aku dr kekecewaan dan pasrahkan aku dgn takdirMu.

I tried to keep myself busy, hmm effective way to deal with sadness? Yes, but until when my time will be filled with activities? So i guess sleeping is the best way to forget, because that is the only time my mind is free of thinking. But still, when i get up his smile is the first thing i could picture :'( This is so painful, ahh. Sharing with family and good friends :) but how long they will listen? they'll be bored after quite some times hmm. Ya Allah, hanya Kau yg sudi dengar bila bila pun. Aku sakit, sangat. Tolong ya rabb tolong aku.